I’m making my dad watch Doctor Who for the first time and he’s seen bits of Tennant and Smith but he likes Chris the best and thinks he’s funny while the others are laid back and too serious. Oh my god, dad. I love you so much. Thank you for proving I’m not the only one!
my social studies teacher once told us “human beings are the most selfish of all. even when someone dies, you shed tears only because they are no more around to provide you with whatever they had been for so long”
and it has been 3 years since she said this and this is still what i think about at night
So I’m studying for my midterm and I still have no friggin clue what’s going on. Like functions, zeros, one to one functions, dividing polynomials, more crap about functions and equations and graphing. Like what?
I don’t even. I can’t.
Sure, I could have withdrawn last week but I don’t want to give up, even if (ironically doing some math) I know I can’t pass. -bangs head on wall- Why am I doing this to myself? Looks like I have to try and get into ANOTHER math class next quarter and pass that…but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. But I have to.
Had a nice trip up to Napa for the afternoon with my mom. We drank, shopped, came back home, had dinner and today I shopped some more. Oh, going back to school after a lazy four day weekend is going to be tough, not to mention I have my midterm next week. I still need to finish series six and seven of DW but River Song is making it really difficult. I need to know or even like Clara before I watch the 50 Anniversary Special. First world problems, man.
He is a manipulative bastard with a drug problem who mooches off of my family. He comes over nearly every weekend and does things to purposefully antagonize me. He makes stupid quips which he thinks upset but they just make me want to punch him. He bosses me around like some slave and then he gets in the way, literally.
If we’re walking opposite, he’ll get in the middle on purpose so he either pushes me or I have to pin myself into the wall to avoid being hit by his bony fucking shoulders.
He is so entitled and useless. My parents ask him to do one thing and he can’t do it.
He acts so smart and I’d like to think he is, but if he once was, it’s all gone now thanks to his drug problem which has nearly killed him (gone to the hospital many times) twice. I can honestly say that I hate him and whenever he finally dies due to his own utter incompetence, I will shed tears of joy because his reign of terror and helplessness will be over. My parents fawn over him because he’s nearly disabled but they forget that he did this all to himself and has isolated him from me and my older (middle) brother who I love deeply.
I am so sick of being in a home where he drops by to eat our food, waste DVR space, sleep in my bed from college (which was my birthday present last year), and push me around. I am a grown woman who shouldn’t need to endure more abuse. He is an emotional abuser who will probably (and honestly should) die alone. My parents don’t need to put up with his crap either. He is the most annoying childish person in the world. He has no idea of boundaries or sentiment. He is someone who I think wasted his life away and is trying to drag everyone down to his level.
As a note, when I say he’s somewhat disabled, it’s because of the drug abuse damaging his brain to be honest, he’s functioning like any normal dumbass, save for the fact he can’t focus but if anything, he needs to be on medication for that and grow up.
It’s kind of a slow day, the sky is overcast (for the most part) and everyone is mulling around the house just doing their own thing. And fighting over the laundry room I suppose. It’s a nice day to sit around in your underwear watching tv, drinking tea and doing work at a snail’s pace. I have taken my meds so I can focus a bit better but the motivation itself is really lacking. I wish I could just enjoy the cool weather and not worry about my second midterm which is just a week away and the first one was pretty rubbish, I am quite ashamed and that’s coming from someone who doesn’t mind saying how much she fails at math.
I hate studying and thinking I understand something, only to find I don’t really. Like at all. It makes me question myself constantly and I hate it. I hate thinking I’m on the right track and then when it comes right down to the test itself, somehow I misstep when I think I haven’t. It’s maddening.
So math is a discouraging topic for me and my family likes to poke fun at it or offer their two cents and it doesn’t help like they may think. It just weighs me down even more and this is the last class I need to finish before I can actually finish (er start) my major classes. It’s not fair. Math has nothing to do with writing. They’re polar opposites.
I just know math is getting a hefty part in my memoir, just like my family because they both give me a lot of pain.
Now excuse me while I chug down some tea and talk my darling Chas. >___>